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Disrupting the Bystander

When #metoo Happens Among Friends

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
Public displays of abusive dynamics aren't limited to the "lover's quarrel" that we so often witness (silently). Abuse can arise in any interpersonal relationship. Coercing a friend to loan money or isolate from others is abuse. Mocking a coworker with racial slurs or homophobic insults is abuse. A community leader using their position and influence to maintain control over their friends or partners is abuse. Societal reluctance to identify these behaviors as abuse can lead to the "bystander effect" or "bystander apathy," where witnesses hesitate or outright refrain from intervening in moments of crisis. By normalizing this reluctance, we are failing survivors. Confronting abuse in our interpersonal spaces requires identifying abuse as it happens and strategies for proactive, compassionate intervention. Disrupting the Bystander provides the toolkit for the lapsed bystander to learn how to identify and intervene in situations of interpersonal abuse.
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 7, 2019
      Freelance journalist Flox debuts with an insightful primer on moving past the “binary of silence or punishment” to support those who have been harmed by sexual misconduct and hold accountable those who have caused harm. Drawing on research into the biological and emotional responses to trauma, Flox describes the importance of helping survivors to shift from a state of distress to a state of calm, seek shelter and stabilization in a “pod” of supportive people, and shape their responses to threats and triggers by making a safety plan, seeking therapy, calling for accountability, or involving the criminal justice system. Flox offers guidelines for practicing self-care and avoiding “burnout” when intervening in a traumatic situation, whether it’s on behalf of the victim or in an effort to “guide” the harasser to accountability. She follows Native American models of “restorative justice” in sections on standing up to a friend or loved one who has harmed another person, explaining how to maintain social bonds, rather than isolate and punish, while not dismissing the impact of their misconduct. Though Flox uses the jargon of contemporary nonviolent activism, she is careful to define her terms. Mental health professionals, victims’ rights advocates, and readers who have been subjected to or witnessed sexual harassment will find Flox’s levelheaded strategies helpful.

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Languages

  • English

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